My coworker and I have recently begun hanging out together. Before, we used to just joke around with the other girls in the lab. Now we’ve signed up for a book club together, and we’ve gone out for a dinner with some other coworkers and another vet from work. On another occasion, she felt sick due to symptoms from a mysterious health condition and I emailed in to see if she needed something. It’s not a super-tight friendship, but we’ve talked about our men issues and have had our laughs… It’s nice.

One thing that I feel bad about: I always happen to do disgusting, rude, and not funny things around her. I’m overall a very inappropriate person, which you likely wouldn’t guess by meeting me if I were with my professors, certain old teachers, or employers. It’s funny most of the time, but she’s caught me during/after many of these unsuccessful jokes or shameful incidents. At this dinner we went to, for example, Kamille needed to use the washroom after me. I’ll be she didn’t expect the opportunity to also admire my inability to aim into the bowl. I suppose that my relief in having the horrible thigh-trembling, cubicle-wall-clutching debacle behind me made me forget to wipe down which I always normally do. Then, after the dinner when we were saying goodbye to the other girls/ladies, I was hugging one of my girlfriends goodbye and surprised both of us by licking her face (I’m not expecting you to laugh; I don’t know why I did this either). Kamille was standing close enough to see that I was generous with that end of me as well. Awkward walk back to the car, let me tell you.

If I were her, I wouldn’t stay friends with me. Nonetheless, since she has seemingly decided to anyway, so I’ve decided to do her the favour of never drinking too much, eating spaghetti, or drinking anything carbonated around her. I may also stop talking.